There are times when I'm just so thankful for God, I'm so full of joy and bursting; feels overwhelming. But when I am most awed, I go - WHO ARE YOU? Like, as if I can't imagine how anyone would do anything like this and so I'm like - whoa. Who are you?!
Not the happy-happy sort, but more like a whoa-reverent-awe sort.
And sometimes I think - WHO AM I? Who am I to receive all this?
Who-are-you to give to the who-am-I?
Sometimes, a Point of Grace song comes to mind -
Who am I that You would love me so gently
Who am I that You would recognise my name
Lord who am I that You would speak to me so softly
Conversations with the One most high
Who am I?
-
I think I am happy because I am content.
Indeed, God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him (John Piper).
-
Prioritising doesn't become so hard
when you realise that saying no to one thing means saying yes to another.
And hey, it's for the greater good.
Got to keep things in perspective.
What's got to be number one on my list?
-
Don't always live your life in a backlog. That's what happens when you procrastinate.
Live in today. Do what you ought to do.
-
I'm watching Just For Laughs on teevee and man, gotta admit that it's majorly funneee :D
Monday, February 08, 2010 • 3:11 AM •
Post long due! Not feeling particularly inspired, so here's just a summary of what I've been up to.
As always, the awesome brother. Now that the three sisters are married, we only have each other. Sob. Just joking. We are still one big happy family. Actually, bigger. And another family member is coming soon (aka baby)...
Christmas with some Wesley YM girls at Wanli's house where we stuffed ourselves full.
And some of us had a sleepover. We got to pick out of Wanli's MANY Pooh nighties.
We're going to the zoo oo oo, how about you you you! Went with Yasmeen, Mornique and Voon from OCF Clayton, then bumped into some OCF WA people. Didn't check out the kids section tho!
Baked at Patty's house. While waiting for the cake to rise we watched Boys Before Flowers and, oh no, I borrowed the DVD home and it took away a few days of my life haha :P Also, met the famous Tubz.
Non-Singaporean visitors! Like Sue Ann and Ian (I was a bad host ha ha, soli).
I've been working at Cairnhill Methodist Church for the past 5 weeks and it's been a really good ride.
Only one week left to go, and I must say that makes me sad! I have grown to love this church - at least the youth ministry which I have been a part of (I've only attended half an adult service -_- ). People have been so warm, and that is \m/
My prayer throughout my time here has been that God would give me a heart for this church, because I don't want to just be a pair of hands; whatever I do, I want to do wholeheartedly - with heart. No heart = meaningless + not effective. Whereas when there's heart in it, you love it and you give it your all. And God has graciously answered my prayer, with much favour (:
I must admit it's hard to juggle this, and dreaming and seeking God for OCF stuff for the year ahead, plus I still don't know what I'm going to do for my honours thesis. But hrms it's okay - I'm also learning to be disciplined in my intentional time with God. It's harder here in Singapore than in Melbourne - just so many more things (some, distractions) here. God has always shown His grace to be enough and I believe He will continue to do so, so long as Matthew 6:33 is applied - take care of God's things, and He'll take care of your things.
Two and a half more weeks before I head back to Melbourne. Time really flies. As much as it is going to be a tad sad to leave Singapore (once again, but thank God not forever), I know He has plans for me in my final year in Melbourne. Help me be a good servant and steward, Lord! There is so much more ahead, and I shall not miss out on any part of it!
Your name and renown are the desire of my heart (Isaiah 26:8).
Keep my heart in purity
That I may walk in all You have for me
-Arms Open Wide, Hillsong
Labels: Church, God, hui, Visuals
Friday, February 05, 2010 • 7:12 PM •
Some more recent thoughts...
11 JAN // 2318 HRS
Honestly, I dislike this coming and going (Melb/SG). But each time, I learn a bit more that home is heaven. And if I've got heaven on the inside of me, then I am always at home, always where God wants me to be.
11 JAN // 2333 HRS
Why am I having all these thoughts now as I lie on the bed in the nighttime dark and silence? You see hui, I have so many things to tell you. Just when it's quiet around you... You want to hear? Come with me to a quiet place...
Jesus says in Mark 6:31,
"Come with me
by yourselves
to a quiet place
and get some rest."
12 JAN // 2322 HRS
Genesis 2:19 - "Whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name." What will we name things? When we see something – name it good/bad, with potential/hopeless, with strengths/useless... what? How shall we see things, and hence "name" them? Let us pray to see through God's eyes always; eyes of love.
Wow. The power of our words. How shall we see? And how shall we "name" the things in our lives and the lives of others?
It is the nature of God to speak. And if we were made in the image of God, then it is, too, our nature to speak. And we must speak things into being. Faith words. That is why we must pray. Because if we don't speak out those words, without breath, there would be no life (God created and creates with His breath/words).
Want some life? Speak! Speak life.
14 JAN // 0141 HRS
Genesis 6:9, 22 – "Noah was a righteous man, blameless... he walked with God. Noah did everything, just as God commanded him." Nice resume mans.
I also want.
16 JAN // 1956 HRS
I shall be constantly awed by God. If I want to be, I shall be. Cos awe of God happens when there's constancy with him and openness towards Him.
It's not that hard to be awed. When you read the Bible and the passage makes sense unlike the previous times you read it - that's understanding. When a friend tells you something apt for a situation in your life, or when you're that friend who speaks - that's timely relevance.
That's God working in your life.
That's awe.
15 JAN // 1402 HRS
Whenever there's fear in my life, it means there is no perfect love. So I must figure out where love is missing.
1 John 4:18 says that perfect love drives out fear. Before the above thought, I feared that God would not speak/ I would not hear what God wanted to say about a particular something. Then I thought - isn't that fear? Why should I fear? If I love God and hence desire Him and seek Him and am close to Him, He would speak to me and I would hear Him; there would be no fear.
I had (have) to perfect my love for God.
And that, is a lifetime commitment. Everyday He loves me, I learn to love Him more and better.
15 JAN // 0200 HRS
I can't sing it if I don't believe it. Worship stems from a true, honest, sure heart. The truer the heart and hence life, the deeper the worship. Hence the gladder God is.
You know how in Sunday school when we were young, the teachers would encourage us to sing songs to God? And we sang; many people like to sing. Then when we were older, we were taught that we had to mean what we sang.
Nowadays, if my life isn't tip-top with God, I can't sing on Sunday. It just feels wrong; a hypocrite. May I always be chummy with God! So on Sunday (not literally), I can always be singing with all my heart and with joy.
A lifesong.
An overflow (:
Labels: God, hui, Revelation
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 • 12:38 AM •
Two Kinds of Shh
As per two journal entries
ONE
One thing God is reminding me now is shh.
If I don't shh, how can I be a worshipper?
For in order to worship, one must obey.
Obedience is worship.
And if I don't shh and hence hear Him
and get to know what He wants,
then I can never truly be a worshipper.
TWO
One of my favourite words of the moment - shh.
Let it be buried under, safe with God (imagine putting something in the soil and patting it down).
And as it is buried, one day it will bloom and grow.
As it reaches out for the sun; it will flourish.
But for today, first, while it is not yet time,
shhhh.
But it is not dormant.
Unknowingly to you perhaps,
it is growing deep (it is growing wings).
Deep, rooted, established.
So after the shh,
it can be awakened when it is time.
And it will burst forth.
And it will be the most beautiful flower
you've ever seen, or could ever imagine.
But for now. Just for now. Just. Shh.
Let it be kept with God (trust Him).
He takes care of things well.
So shh. And He makes all things beautiful.
In His time. In His perfect time.
-
It sometimes is time to be silent. And Be still and know that I am God (Psalm 46:10) comes to mind. But these days, I hear a Shh, and while Be still... automatically comes to mind, I feel the Holy Spirit just stopping me midway –-shh, no don't even think of the verse. Just, shh.
Yes when I am still, I will know that He is Lord. But you know, just sometimes, just... be still. Just. Shh.
(A bit like this)
Labels: God, hui, Revelation
Saturday, January 02, 2010 • 6:36 AM •
Hello folks!
Sorry I've been away for so long. In summary, I've been busy with
1) OCF 50th Convention at Malacca - here are some of the Victorians
It was a bit different this year because there were alumni invited so about a third of the campers were older people (even people in their seventies). One thing I liked was seeing those people who had gone before us, and seeing where there were now - something to spur us on for the journey ahead! AGM was encouraging and inspiring. Spending time with some Malaysian friends after Convy for a few days was good too (:
2) Wesley's Youth Ministry Camp - the 8th!
That's my group, The Sowers (: Must admit it was hard to stick to my group because I'm so used to not being in a group, because I've been serving for the past few years, so I've never quite been in a group. But um I tried. haha. I reminded myself that there was a purpose in me going (though I'm kind of out-of-touch with YM because I haven't been around for two years), and that was to give. And, it was quite fun! Including befriending the younger ones, and playing a lot of dirty games - c'mon man, OCF has got to "up" their games :P
It's pretty awesome to see the generation of youths rising up. Certain individuals, from naughty little boys, to mature ones whom others look up to. Sometimes it takes long for fruit to be seen - like the many years of youth ministry, pouring into lives and camp after camp - but we abide in Him, and eventually bear fruit that will last (John 15); today sees these youths/young men and women who are starting to disciple the next generation. Youths transformed for Christ.
It is really wow to see youths passionate for Jesus and taking ownership of the ministry.
It's happening (or more accurately, we see it happening - God has been working all the while).
I see a generation rising up to take their place
With selfless faith, with selfless faith (Brooke Fraser)
Even though I'm in Melbourne now and my "main ministry" is there, my thoughts turn to Wesley once in a while, and I ask God where He wants me to be in the future. Youth ministry? Young adults? P&P? Worship? God. Well, there's still a year in Melbourne to go, and by the time I am back, I'll know; He'll "give me a heart" for it. God has never failed to be on time, and never will fail, I believe (:
-
As usual, God is uber good,
and truly, each day with Jesus is sweeter than the day before.
Currently, with lots of "work" to do. Arghhhh! But it's also good to get "back on track".
Actually, I'm excited (: For what's to come ahead. It's always good. Because my God is good (:
And He gives me grace to do His will.
So now, it is time to discipline myself. Take some time-out.
Spend some necessary quality time with God alone.
And. Jeremy called to ask if I can play for Candlelight service! \m/ yay!
It's fun to be involved :D
Kbye.
JesusIlubchew.
<3 huihui.
Labels: Church, God, hui, OCF, Visuals
Tuesday, December 22, 2009 • 3:33 AM •
One of my post-Belyuen thoughts were -
God, I don't need a comfortable life. I don't need to have material luxuries and whatnot. I just want a good life. And what I mean by "good" is that it is a life that is in the center of Your will. Because that always is the best, surest, most blessed place to be.
And yesterday while journaling I wrote something along the lines of -
God, it is so comforting to be in Your will; it really is the best place to be. I don't have to worry if the job is right for me because it suits my personality or training or if there is another better job out there. I don't. I just have to know if it's what You want. And if it is, then that's that. Wow. Isn't that great? Such security in You Lord!
(Please note that I am not discounting the fact that there is responsibility on our part to seek jobs/ministry/etc and to wisely consider the gifts, talents, personality etc that He has given us.)
-
Your love
It is the compass of my heart
-Delirious
I don't know the rest of the song. Just that one line. And it pretty much sums up all I need to know. Your love - it is the compass of my heart.
Labels: hui, Quotes, Revelation
Sunday, December 06, 2009 • 4:34 AM •
am i being sanctified?
i cannot say the word "sai kang" anymore.
literally translated, it means, "shit work".
we used to say it for fun - like, hey let's be sai kang warrior!
said it in a positive way - go and serve by doing whatever needs to be done.
but. i dunno. i suddenly can't use the word anymore.
not without unease.
maybe that's how God works.
like, you keep your eyes fixed on Him. and HE does the cleansing.
you don't quite have to do that much; it doesn't require that much of an effort anymore.
cos all you have to do is keep your eyes fixed on Him. and He does everything.
He washes me clean (:
now i have to find a replacement for "sai kang warrior".
what sounds cool enough? hm.
Worship is the submission of all our nature to God.
It is the quickening of conscience by his holiness;
the nourishment of mind with his truth;
the purifying of imagination by his beauty;
the opening of the heart to his love;
the surrender of will to his purpose -
and all of this gathered up in adoration,
the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable
and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness
which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin.
–William Temple
oh come let us adore Him!
Labels: God, hui, Pen and paper, Quotes
Friday, December 04, 2009 • 5:23 AM •